(this is)

[gollum]

my friend Clay read a pome about getting drunk alone in a hotel room last night, and while it was nothing like this, it inspired me. -g.

(this is)

this is
getting drunk
alone in a
motel room. bad
decor, gaggingly
green and pink.
hard bed. thin
carpet. concrete floor.
the reflection of
me in the
mirror that sprawls
over the sink like you
should be sprawled
on the bed.

this is
loneliness.

this is pathetic.

if you could see me
now, bottle of
something cheap in
my hand, clad in my
underwear and my
socks, sitting in
a chair. the tv is
off. the polyester
bedspread is piled on
the floor. the pillows
are stacked one on
top of the next on top
of the next, substituting
for your soft body.

there is nothing here but
my face in the mirror.

i can't see straight
anymore, but i know that
i want you
here,
in Jacksonville,
in this damn motel
instead of this bottle.

[This message has been edited by gollum (edited December 08, 2000).]

[Oz]

it flows well. it seems to...i dunno... i like it. it seems to have more to say, i think thats what i was gonna say... i like it gollum. thanks for sharing.

[crazy a]

I feel like I should be listening to Janis Joplin when I read that.

[jones]

Good, heartbreaking, miserable stuff.

I think you should drop the lines "this is/loneliness" and "this is pathetic." I also think you should change "there is nothing here but/my face in the mirror" to "this is nothing here/but my face in the mirror." Whaddaya think?

take care

---jones

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